i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
