u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
