do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
