last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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