I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
