Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
