dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize