why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize