just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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