I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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