Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
