I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together