Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Umm I'm too high to move.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.