I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sex on roller skates
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?