Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?