I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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