U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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