I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
