Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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