I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize