my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
