My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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