Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
