what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
