I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
