I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
