I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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