Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
