i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
