Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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