Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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