I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
