it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
that is very illegal...i love you.
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