I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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