Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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