why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
