I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
