Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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