So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need a beard to bite.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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