also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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