I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
