Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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