Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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