Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
