guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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