the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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