Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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