Can Purell be used as lube?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
zippers are such a cool invention
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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