She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
