we're chasing vodka with high fives
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Two words: blizzard sex
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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