White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
