Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
