So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Mom said you looked used
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
