No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
