We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
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I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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