clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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