I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
