Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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