you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
