He kissed a someone with a penis
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
