i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
