Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
