the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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