We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
