He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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